Head In The Clouds

 My back feels relieved laying on my awesome anti-gravity chair,  my father's day gift,  and I don't care what anyone says,  it might just be a lawn chair,  but my back feels better laying on it.   Anyhow,  the sun just set with just a little bit of light left in the sky,  it's a bit darker than  usual,  missing the normal pinkish tint.  I've been waiting all day for this.   You see, I worked midnights last night and stayed over days today which is absolutely insane,  but I made myself stay awake for this.  Lets just say I've only had a couple hours sleep over the last 48,  but whatever,  it's worth it.   It's beautiful and it moves me,  soothes  my soul and keys poetry flow.   Now,  there's a couple things that I do know.   The sky induces awe,  and that everything is simply explainable,  though it's not that easy.  I try to see things objectively,  and rationally, I don't know any other way to be.  I mean,  there is a reason for everything but it's not just some abstract thought that lies out there,  something we just say because it sounds good.   To me it motivates questions,  and while I may not always find answers it leaves me open to indefinite endings,  possibilities galore.   Some people can't handle this about me because I call bullshit when I see it,  some people like the matrix, I don't know.   Reality to me is all I seek,  and while some of it is up for interpretation such as the beauty of my sky, some things are  not,  an inch will always be an inch,  no matter how you look at it.  Unless you break it down further,  but that only proves it to be what it is more so.

 Yea, I got lost with those clouds an hour ago,  I'm speaking from deep with in my.... my soul.   Whatever that is.

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A new me emerges from yesterday,  entertaining ideas and toying with thoughts.   Time passes  frosting over moss covered musings and I try to dig them out,  knock the  bullshit from em.   Not so different if I didn't know myself so well,  and I don't say it to boast,  only that I know me better than most,  and sometimes it's lonely.   Not that I mind,  I'm accustomed to it.   Many times I had only me to get through some thick shit,  and I manage,  somehow,  to see my way through it.   Dark days do reclaim light again.   And I do always write again in spite  of the doubt the swirls around me,  and sometimes I do even find my own shit kind of astounding.   Down,  deep down my pretty flows.

 I've been talking about pictures,  but I've been to lazy to post them.... haha.   Anyway,  here they are,  the Rocky Mountains.   It's a beautiful place,  and the pictures don't really do it any justice.

The Journey Isn't The Destination

 from the rustic cabin in the woods to a hotel off the freeway just outside of Denver, I sit outside in the windy,  warm early evening desiring the sounds of the river over the trucks flying by.   they are eerily normal, however, and the train in the distance sounds like home.   six stories below,  in the courtyard of the hotel,  people are  no longer worried about the mountains in the distance,  but are captivated by an electronic device of some sort,  wirelessly hard wired to this system of technology.  I ain't mad, I embrace the art of technology and appreciate untouched nature.   they're staying connected,  doing their thing and who am I  to judge?   the feelings are always mixed going home from an adventure,  you don't want to leave but there is something to be said for sleeping in your own bed, and back to the steel jungle I go.   it's daunting,  and it fills me full angst but gives me  something to dream about all the same.   now I'm trading the smoke filled,  forrest fire air of the west to return to the wet and cool Midwest,  storms brewing,  and waiting.   perhaps it only seems as it does because of the way I see it,  and it's quite possible that I'm  learning to live right where I am,  it's the only place I can be.   sometimes I just gotta test a theory,  haha.   if you people only knew.   there will be pictures to come.

The rolling hills turned into foothills and then mountains as my mind wandered off with the river a while back, not that I mind.   meandering through the mountains in pitch black  darkness,  exceeding the speed limit by only a little,  hugging the yellow line cuz I can't see the rigid rocks to the right, I know they're there.  I pull over to catch a glimpse of the stars without the light pollution of the city, I counted 5 shooting stars.   absolute darkness,  surrounded  on all sides by  rocky walls so that no light passes through.   it's utterly amazing,  and it's kinda creepy to completely let go and stand in the darkness,  vulnerable to  anything that can see me.   damn,  this is a beautiful place to be, I can hardly wrap my mind around it.  I only see this kind of shit on tv,  but it's real personal to me for some reason.  I like things in their natural,  raw state I suppose,  or as close as one can get.   skyscrapers can be beautiful,  but they ain't got shit on the mountain I'm looking at,  or the river running below me.   what a sound, I never want to leave it.  I'll exchange it for the screeching and grinding of steel on steel any day,  and some people will never understand that.   fortunately some do.   anyway,  this place is awesome,  really.

 somewhere in the middle of Iowa the flat lands turn into rolling hills,  and my soul felt a little kick.  I can see the sick air of the industrial Midwest behind me now,  its thick depression has lifted.  I expand my mind and I see things differently,  and people wonder why I'm stuck in my own world most of the time.   all I see before me is the highway and wide open opportunity.   here is the place I will always be,  never really getting anywhere if I don't accept that first.  I can be surrounded by mountains or rubble,  it doesn't matter,  but the white caps and foothills  help me gather a moment in time when nothing  else can distract me and I can just be.  peace.

Traveling

it's the eve of my journey west and I almost can't contain my excitement.   there is something very freeing about being on the road,  it's like the flood gates lifted from my soul,  suddenly I have no containment.  I am to travel a thousand miles to be where my heart desires.  I don't quite understand my attraction to these mountains,  but for something with such a solid foundation,  they sure do move me.  I don't want a gps, I want a road atlas and some sunglasses, a cup of coffee and good music to lead me to the quiet and solitude of nature.   hardly adventurous to ride in such comfort,  but I guess there are benefits to sucking air at this particular time,  haha.  I intend to share here what I experience,  and it should be quite an experiment.

I absolutely can't wait to see the darkest sky full of stars.