Maybe tomorrow

I've had a pebble in my work boot for the past fifteen hours, I almost made it but I don't think I can take it anymore.  An old, homely woman corrected me in the grocery store the other day, "So what if I call Miracle Whip mayo, bitch..." is all I could think to myself.  "Ah, yea, you're right."  I smiled so as not to show I was biting my tongue.  Sometimes I'm fed up with being polite, I'm like the king of euphemisms, right.  We're expected to be peaceful in society, but if I'm not civilized for speaking my mind then what am I?  My mother told me once that I had crude behavior, and language, right before she slapped me in the face, I think I was eighteen then.  Well, excuse me for not taking anyone's shit, and as far as I'm concerned, biological connection or not it ain't happenin'.  It probably stems from being picked on as a kid, it didn't take long before I learned how to control situations, or at least keep them more in my favor.  Dealing with people is a fuckin art, and dealing with me is a fuckin task, I do admit. 

**********

My day to day life is like groundhog's day.  Every day is the same, rudely awakened by an alarm clock, I want to shake that bitch till it stops working.  The snooze button doesn't exist, I rise as soon as it sounds, sometimes disoriented, I've always been that way.  When I was a kid I was always the first one up, I'd eat cereal and watch the news, strange fuckin kid I was.  Catching the sports is why I watched, any bit of basketball fed me.  Well, that and Robin Meade, who made her way to CNN among other things, not that I would know. :)  I no longer watch the news. (But I do still eat cereal, I could live off of it, I probably eat it twice a day) Haha, but she started out on a Chicago news station, anyway, and she's hot.  It's funny, the stuff I remember. I couldn't retain a single bit of geometry but I can remember silly ass details like that, and not just that but many, many more things that may or may not be trivial. I suppose that's up to one's own judgement, to which they are entitled.

Little tangent there, I'll settle down.

No I won't, I don't know how.  Knowing how to settle down is not part of my repertoire.  "If you're gonna be a bear, you might as well be a grizzly."  my friend Jack says when talking about me.  He gets it, knows the way I roll.  If a ten is high I'm at an eleven all the time.  

**********

It's five below and has been precipitating in the form of snow since November, it was a wicked December and January was a freakin blast!  I don't think we've experienced this much snow here consistently, not in my lifetime anyway.  I suppose even in the hottest of summers we can grow tired of ice cream too.  But, it's getting long and I'm becoming restless, cabin fever sets in to  test my resoluteness to not lose my cool in the middle of winter.  Heat from the words I breed, like gasoline, burns furiously.  The depths of the cold must hold my poetry, for it is this time every year I find what it keeps.  The winters drain me mentally and sometimes almost breaks me but I make it and spring revives me.

Suddenly, I remember that I'm still alive.