Tuesday, January 28, 2014


If you had asked me at any time before now if I thought my 32nd year on this planet would be the toughest yet, I would have said no way.  Surely there were other years whose tests were just as difficult if not worse, other years which were literally tougher just to survive.  It's unfortunate that the year I'd make my greatest discovery is the same year I'd have to face the reality that all we ever really are is alone.  We come in this bitch kickin and screaming and hopefully go out quietly but only the soul that's traveling can take that road, alone.  People come and go in life and some seem to know us better without even giving it any effort, and for a short but limited while we can share in our experience but eventually it will come to an end, a parting of ways.  The question is when will it happen?  And for how long will you actually have them?

Now, I'm aware that we can't live under the premise that nothing lasts therefore it may as well end now.  That's ridiculous, I know that.  I almost think knowing that makes me appreciate what I've got even more while I have it.  I want to "touch" and explore things and people, some way more than others.  It's in my nature to want to know and I think that's why people take a liking to me, I listen sincerely.  Don't be fooled, that's a bit of trickery, I'll make you like me before you can hate me and all the true things I say and all the blunt ways in which I say them.  I think a few people can attest to that, and I apologize that I make you love to hate me.

Anyway, I've learned some hard lessons this year.  The only consolation being that they were all conscious decisions made by me and I stand by them 100%, right or wrong, good or bad, doesn't even matter.  Nothing changes labeling it as such, everything still is what it is.  We have three choices in every situation, accept it, deny it or ignore it.  I've done the other two throughout my life, I already know how it turns out.  Haha, if you figure out how to make denial and avoidance work let me know, I'll make a post of it.


I've seen other people do that as a way to separate thoughts I guess, I'ma give it whirl.  I think I like it, often times I think my cascading, endless lines can be confusing, like sometimes it might be hard to follow.  And I know that using "like" is like a big writing no-no, at least it seemed to be to the "teachers" of writing that I've had.  It works and people understand it, so what's grammatically incorrect can be an artfully displayed essay.  How vain am I to call what I do art?  Ha, yea.  Or to call this last year of my life a crucible, I just think it's a cool word so I used it.  Sue me.  I'll even help you prove your case against me, and that state of mind drives people crazy cuz it takes their power away from them.  It's a shame I even have to be that way but it's a brutal world that can be beautiful, it all balances out.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

My Passion For Fashion

(Check out those awesome bathroom mirror shots.)

Hat- Columbia (it's hard to find hats that fit my small ass head, I've got a small head. Word! Columbia)

Hoodie- Carhartt (I can't stand winter jackets being all confining and shit, it's pretty much my winter coat.)

Bracelet- Probably came from India, I'd imagine.  (Bought it from an Indian dude at a mall in Augusta, Georgia about 13 years ago.)

Watch- Citizen (my latest acquisition...I have a thing for watches.)

Beard- That's all me y'all. (It's starting to actually look like a beard, haha.)

I've been thinking about making my blog a "/fashion" you know like, philosophy/fashion.  Each day I'll showcase something else, like the same Carhartt hoodie in a different color, or one of my worn pair of jeans with holes and salt stained, ripped bottoms, and a coffee dripped white t-shirt.  My kicks, always fresh...literally, fresh and clean, I'm anal about it.  Except in the winter I kinda have to let it slide, I got my boots to cover that.

Anyway, back to the topic...I think a few photos like this will qualify me to list myself under the "fashion" label, maybe I'll get some more readers. :) Probably get death threats for being a mockery.  I just think it's funny, all the fashion blogs.  I understand fashionable people having blogs but blogs about fashion?  I mean, I wouldn't mind hearing a story behind something worn, if only our clothing had eyes and ears and could talk.  Yea, like the time I thought I saw a ghost in my car, I am not fuckin kidding!  :) until I got out and realized it was the cigarette I thought I threw out the window burning in my hood.  I still wear that fucker, burn hole and all.  There's a story behind everything, and old clothes suit me better than any new suit could.  

Haha, so don't listen to me, do your thang fashion folk, I'm just talking shit.  It was all just a ploy to get you to read and maybe even comment.  Although, my travels through the depths of blog land has uncovered an abundance of fashion or fashion related blogs, and some of them trick you, or me :), and suck you in.

I'm just sayin...

Sunday, January 5, 2014

New Year, Same Words

My silence here lately has been more scathing than any hurtful words I could display, which only states that I am more of a sociopath than I originally thought.  Haha, I'm only halfway kidding.

Fourteen inches of snow, ten more on the way, after I just fixed my truck and it broke down again parked on the street, and the snowblower took a shit all during a seventy-two hour work week, working midnight/day doubles, I hate those fuckin things.

Hanging out in Big Jack's garage flipping through music, listening to an instrumental from Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory, that's some creepy shit, the whole thing, Jack and Willy that is.  He used to be a DJ back in the day but his music stops at like 1989 so I have to bring his ass up to date.  Haha, I think I may only get him up to like Y2k but it's a good time passing a bowl around reminiscing in the words I grew up listening to.

It's a new year I'm told but it feels quite the same.  My thoughts still flourish in a whirlwind, hurling through space and time to hopefully strike a nerve in some of you....

Just a few things running through my mind.