Friday, August 30, 2013

Brain's Storming

Write a paragraph... delete.

 Write a page... delete.

 It happens often,  mind bouncing off the walls with ideas,  having a hard time grabbing something.   It kinda builds over time and spills over,  once I break the seal I almost can't control where it goes next.  I enjoy the whirring of my fan,  it calms my mind and slows me down.

Smoke fills my lungs... exhale.

Sometimes I get stuck on an idea and I can't table it until I've rolled it over in my mind a few times.   People are people and I mean we all think the same, be it about different things, we  all go through a specific process whether we realize it or not.   I've gotten good at paying attention to the film real running through my dome constantly.   And I love to see others become aware of their ultimate reality.

 We're all flawed in some way shape or form and it isn't an easy pill to swallow,  but I've found that's it's easier to move on by accepting it.  Telling yourself you're hooked on pills and need to get off ain't easy,  but once I accepted the reality I moved on.  Its been 6 months,  and my leg still shakes,  and I still dream of vicodin,  waking up feeling the withdrawal all over,  and  it goes to show the control a mind really  does have when it can make you feel something that isn't even there.   And that being aware of thoughts is  key,  those  dangerous things are sneaky,  they creep in back doors when we're sleeping.   Subconsciously  feeding the wrong needs,  but I see.

 One thing is certain,  my head is full again.

1 comment:

  1. It's as if a tiny glimpse inside that mind of yours. I like the jagged and uneven patterns that somehow spiral into a beautifully flowing story.