Wednesday, May 21, 2014


I forced myself out into the light of day, and I definitely needed it.  My blue eyes have always been sensitive to light, but more so today for the dark I'd been sitting in was vicious. Although I'm not out the woods, so to speak, I have let a few things leak from the closet. The weight on my chest had been lifted and, quite possibly, my apathy is going up in smoke with it.

In a minute. 

First, let me finish. I got lost for what seemed infinite. About to take off I caught a glimpse of my own image, realizing that with dawn comes a new beginning. Pretty simple shit and it is easier said than done, we all know. In some way, shape or form I think that anybody even reading this silliness just knows. 

Am I write?

As the saying goes, "woe is me."  Boo hoo, bitch you've been given a golden ticket in my life and she goes by the name of Gwendolyn. Really, both of my kids but her in particular. She's one with my soul and when I need her most, with her silly faces and sayings, she saves me from my own head. Always there, at the top of the stairs waiting when I get home, and the greatest thing is she has no idea she's doing it. With her signature little pink bow, it's inescapable the way it changes things in an instant.

Only a handful of times have I experienced instances that, quite frankly, make me shiver, every fiber of my body standing on end, tingling.  I do believe in mere coincidence, but more than that I think people have underlying connections.  The handful of true friends I do have this week have proven to truly be so.  Each one has reached out to me and didn't know that I actually needed it.  As well, EVERYONE here that has written to me, or of me.  Sometimes life is ugly, and for whatever reason it needs to be that way.

And it's alright.


  1. Yes Ryan... sometime life is ugly.. but somehow it gets beautiful in time. I am looking for that now... :)

    I am happy to hear you have so many people in your life that care... I lost a few of those people last year.. long time friends that turned out that they weren't .. move on :)

  2. Apathy, the condition of our time. Let it burn. Your last paragraph really rang true for me. I was definitely with you when reading it. At work today one of the clients and I talked and we came to the conclusion that sometimes bad things don't happen to repay bad people and sometimes things just suck. Sometimes there's just a sometimes and the best thing you can do is control your reactions and keep going. "It's a reflection of them and not you." he told me. There can't be alittle sunshine without the rain, or so they say. I'm glad you had people to reach out to. Loved the writing.

  3. Cheers on you, too, for noticing the goodness in plain sight. It seems that spring has sprung for many.


  4. I do not know why i read this so late. only by how you see your world right now, how you see the beuaty of it, i can tell that you and everything are/is getting brighter, even if you aren't fully concious of it yet, it is in your words

  5. It is alright, but at some point it has to start getting better. I want nothing else than to be happy, I'm sure you do as well.


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