I don't mind change or seeing things a different way, from a different perspective, it can make old things seem new once again. A different angle can show us a facet we've never seen. Some people ask me how I can let go of emotions so easily. Emotions are an instinctual reaction to whatever is happening, but most people dwell on those and can't let go. If I'm angry or sad, even happy, I know that there is a reason for it, there always is. It has taken me a very long time to get to this point where I can allow myself to feel something, understand it for what it is and move along. I'm no longer a flash flood of reactions, rather like molasses, the time to decide how to act doesn't pass me.
I like to think I have a good understanding of people, sometimes I take advantage of it but I use it mostly for good, I say that with a devilish grin. I'm an extroverted introvert by definition, I swear, look them up. I concern myself with everything around me but I internalize most of it, I think about things and then I let go of em. My thoughts are like dough, I roll then around and play with them with the intent to create something. I share ideas with people as if they were a valuable currency,to me ideas are priceless, and their worth is whatever we choose to make of them. I always like to bring a post full circle in a short display of the crazy way everything is connected. A dude at work today told me "I like working with you. You're always down to chill and there's always coffee on." I absolutely say this with every humble fiber in my body, it made me smile inside. Naturally I acted like my normal self and brushed it off without being rude, but it was cool. Haha, it probably helps that I'm always down to run the crane and help out, but that's how I was shown by the old timers. We hang out and break first then we ALL go to work and get our shit done cuz when the shit hits the fan around here there's pretty much no more breaking for the day, haha. Those old timers had their shit together, and they stuck together, anymore it's every man for themselves and it's a fucking shame. I refuse though, I know I can be a stubborn motherfucker but it ain't in me to be a punk like that. You have people with great paying jobs act like this place and everyone in it owes them something just for being here. I don't get it, I can't forget where I come from and even though my dad has been an asshole he's always been a hard worker, and there's some pride in that. I even think it's safe to say at this point I've forgiven the man, even if more for my own sanity. Whatever he was when I was growing up isn't who he is now even if it is only circumstantial. And by that I mean I don't know if he's actually changed or if it's only because he physically and mentally can't pick on me anymore. It's doesn't even matter the reason, it is what it is. Even though he's never told me he's proud of me I'd like to think that somewhere under the facade he is, I don't know. Life goes on as I drift from topic to topic, it's all related.
Everything and nothing all at once.
My coffee's getting cold.