Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The rain beats down, I can see it pouring through a hole in the roof. Not my roof, the roof here at work, it's full of holes. I've heard stories about the holes in this roof, but they were only stories. I can see the light flashing off t he walls and the ceiling above my crane which is fucking me up if I'm being honest. You see, the crane runs on electricity and all the electrical stuff is on top of this old, raggedy ass crane. When you have spent as much time up here as I have and seen as many malfunctions as these things have you begin to notice things. Early warning signs of something going wrong. So, normally crazy arc flashes off the wall or ceiling means something is wrong, check it out. With all the lightning it kinda takes that away from you, but you get used to it I suppose. I've been doing this now for almost a decade and a change is needed. I don't know when or what but something has to give. I love what I do but the atmosphere in this place will swallow your soul and not think twice.But I think twice every day when I have to come here and that is no way to co-exist. It's a love hate relationship and the hate is beginning to outweigh the love. I can be confined to this 5x5 box for the rest of my life, that's not the problem. The problem lies in being confined to the ideas and sick thinking of this place. Worry about yourself first and fuck the rest. That's not how I operate. I'm way overdue for a vacation, a real vacation. Like getting in the car and driving far away kind of vacation. We're headed west again, something draws me to the place... probably a combination of mountains and fresh air. I suppose that alone is good enough reason to be drawn in. So, I'm sure I'll be posting more about that journey to the Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado. Went Yellowstone a few years back and I've been itching to go again ever since. We're gonna stay in Denver for a couple days too, maybe... there is no strict plan. It excites me and wakes me up. Only about 3 weeks to wait. And I wait...

8 comments:

  1. there's something to be said for mountains and fresh air- a toxic combination if you ask me :)

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  2. sometimes you just have to give yourself a break, no one else will... you deserve it. The time will fly by, and then focus on every moment of the vacation to make it slow down.

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  3. It is true that no one is looking out for you but yourself. If we aren't careful, it is what makes control freaks of us. Or some of us, at least. If you want it done right...

    Glad to see you writing!

    xx
    LuLu
    Breakfast After 10

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  4. After reading this, all I want is to exchange life with you!

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    1. I do suppose the grass is always greener on the other side, so don't get me wrong, I know better than to spend too much time complaining, haha. For any shortcomings in life I have been given gifts ten fold.

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    2. That faith is the reason I said so. Only those who expect, complain. :)

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  5. No plan is a good plan and existing isn't living.

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  6. rocky mountain love <3 can't wait to hear about your journey..

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