I have finally made my way to the basement, knocked the dust off the old PC, and sat in my "thinking chair" which seems to need a bit of oil. Its been quite a while, really. With smartphones and laptops who needs the inconvenience of walking down a couple of stairs to sit in their favorite chair? Well, apparently I do. I have sat right here in this chair for so very many many hours, and have written from it so very many words. It's like making contact with a long lost friend, I'm telling you.
Here recently I've come to realize that part of my inspiration problem is due to a lack of solitude. Technology is all well, but I've let it take away from me the one thing that truly helps me think. I mean, wherever I go I am connected. It has made me produce less quality thoughts, I am sure. I am not a great talker, never have been. I do best when I've got time to think. While it has been cool to catch a lot of those fleeting thoughts that come and go, I sure do miss the realizations that happen when you've got quiet in which to think. Sitting in front of a tv expecting to peck something out on my phone that's actually worthwhile is quite an insane thought. At least to me, it is. Its been a pleasure to be hardwired to the internet wherever I may go....from the wide of lands and mountain rages of Yellowstone National Park, right on up to a bathroom stall. I'm guilty, yes. Although, I'd have to say some of my most prized thinking has been done there. I can think of no other place that will guarantee as much solitude. And solitude is what I need.
Sitting here in this chair has revitalized some of my creative energy. It is rather inspiring, I have to admit. When I think about the changes and realizations I've made over the last 8 or 10 years I do have to say that some of the best have happened while sitting in this spot. And it's not so much about the place in which I sit as it is about what I'm doing while I'm sitting. I'm sure I can find a million other places in this world which will offer me some of the greatest inspiration and solitude one can get. But at the moment, I don't have that and it's quite alright. Writing, writing, writing no matter if I wanted to or not, I have produced words whose count does astonish me. All I have ever wanted to do is write. I can think of nothing I enjoy better than when I am feeling absolutely inspired and the words just flow through my fingers so quickly that one might think they were doing the thinking. Yea, that's a great feeling. And that is not to say that the number of words is the accomplishment. Some of the best things worth saying can be done so in a matter of a few words. The point is that I found so many thoughts to be worth writing. From the wireless waves of tech I never could have created such a volume. Would not have been possible.
Why do I find this to be worth writing about? Because it is a part of me in which I've neglected to nourish for a number of years now and it has taken its toll. Through all that I've learned I find that I still need to learn more. I have spent the last couple years wanting to beat my head against a wall because I couldn't buy an original thought. I haven't challenged myself to get off my ass and do something about it and what it gave me were some of the worst years in my recent history. I guess if one were to stop feeding themselves their life would go to shit rather quickly. Most people "out" there don't get it. They concern themselves with everything beyond their own control and hardly knows what lies underneath. I trust that almost anyone who finds this and has read this far does get it. They are probably searching for the same truths in life that I am. How can one know a truth about anything beyond the tips of their fingers if they don't even know their own self first? And my true goal in all that I read, write, see and hear is to have a better understanding of the one person that I can understand. Life may not be perfect, and I may not be the best at anything I do, but there is one thing I do know. I know myself, and I know my thoughts. This is quite an accomplishment considering most media out there is trying to steal both right out from under you.
What do you know about yourself? What is it that has pushed you far in any endeavor you have taken on? What has brought you here?