Wednesday, September 25, 2013
We All Have Hiding Places, I Think.
Temptation can be quiet and sneaky and it likes to try me when I least expect it, completely off guard. I found a couple vicodin in a hiding place and the addict in me doesn't even want to tell you where exactly that is, always plotting a way to keep one last hiding spot. The bottom right pocket on my golf bag, you see, I'm telling on myself because I know better. A decision presented itself which I hadn't planned on making today, do I take them or pass? You would think it shouldn't be an option on the table, but however brief it may have been it's always there waiting to be captured. I could already feel the warm sensation that starts in the belly, eventually warming you head to toe. The euphoria leads to desperate measures, there's no way around it. The only way it ends is by not starting, it's just that sometimes that dark side wants a thrill ride. Knowing better is only half the battle, the action that follows is what actually matters. The only way to ensure I don't think about it later was to crush them up and put them in the garbage, and a piece of me went cold for doing it. Most days I don't even think about it, some nights I dream about it, today it was just easier not to give in.