Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Going Forward

Roaming around the grocery store last night I realized I'd fit right into an episode of Seinfeld.  I had an oddly uncomfortable conversation with a gentlemen in the vitamin aisle.  I was looking for some melatonin so I can get some decent sleep.  He started telling me about the mens multi-vitamin he was looking for and why he needed em.  I think he was high on something, or maybe it was just me. 

It's a very different thing doing stuff on my own for a change.  I was joking yesterday that I had to go buy myself a new belt for the first time ever.  I'm experiencing everything from a different perspective now and I kind of like it.  It's amazing how different things can seem from just a slightly different angle.  Things that may have once seemed like a chore is now just another adventure, even if it is only deciding which belt I like.  Oh, there's still this nagging voice in my head telling me I'm wrong but my feet are so willingly moving forward.  A bit of the weight has been lifted from me, it's no wonder me feet move with ease.

I still have no clear path ahead of me, everything is a moment at a time.  I feel like I want to be around people, but people I don't know.  I want to have a conversation with someone who knows nothing about me, nothing of my past.  I don't want the words I say to be judged by any of the actions I've taken recently.  I can feel people shaking their heads as if pleased by knowing they were right about me.  It doesn't matter, I'll continue forward.  It would be nice to go where nobody knows my name.  Just another nameless face in a crowd.  Sometimes that's ok.  Right now it's ok.  I'm getting by.


  1. Welcome to getting to know who you are again, I hope you enjoy the adventure. Furthermore Seinfeld is on my tv right now, it's a good show to resemble sometimes. ;)

  2. Experiencing everything from a different perspective is a wonderful, albeit sometimes frighteningly new, experience. I look forward to following your journey.

  3. It sounds like you're off to a good start, moving forward with many adventures and moments waiting for you.

  4. I found your blog through a comment you left on another blog. Everything is connected. You seem to be starting a new chapter in your life and this is exciting and scary at the same time.

    It's a great feeling to gain independence and learn that you will be alright on your own, you can fend for yourself, you can take care of yourself. It's a great feeling to be around people when you want to be, who you choose, not who life chose for you at a time when you couldn't stand on your own.

    Being independent is part of growing up and finding who you are, and where you want to be in the world. And also, how you want to view the world and yourself from now on. Leaving the baggage of the past behind and going towards a new, mature, and wiser you. A path to self awakening.